When i was a kid, i used to point at random cars and go, “That one looks sad! That one looks like a racoon! That one’s got doe eyes!” I was referring to the “faces” of the cars, with the headlights for the eyes, the license plate for the nose/snout, and the grille for the mouth.
The 1999 Ford Taurus always looked like a laughing baby to me:
Look at that smooth brow, bubbly eyes, and wide grin. Compare its cuteness to the viciousness of the 2008 Honda Accord:
I’ve been told that i’m pretty good at expressing love, but sometimes even i have to resort to nonverbal expression, because i have my shy moments just like anyone else. Here are the ways i express love nonverbally:
-impromptu gifts, usually ones that will only make sense to me and the significant other
-sharing beauty, usually in the form of art
I’d say the most subtle way (and therefore the easiest to accomplish, emotionally speaking) would be the last one. Whenever i see something beautiful, i want to share it with a loved one. Sharing art isn’t just about sharing taste, and neither is it only about letting someone else express your love for you; it’s about experiencing the beauty of life with a loved one. It’s a union not only between you and another, but also between you two and the universe. The most ideal way of sharing beauty would be experiencing nature together, but you have to admit, in our increasingly technological world, finding an untouched enclave of nature, planning the convenient time and method to get there, and finally getting there with your significant other is difficult to do. But what has become much more efficient is communication, and that’s what makes it so easy to share art, which, by contemplating the human condition, is what comes closest to embodying the universe.
And now for the inevitable question: how do you express love nonverbally?
So here’s the deal. For our first field assignment in Nonverbal Communication class, everyone lined up against a wall and introduced themselves. The professor taped us one by one from the chest up. In the next class session, we watched the entire video with the audio off. She (the professor) instructed us to write down the first thing we noticed in the denotative data column. Just one thing, and use descriptive language.
Now that the situation is set up, i’ll just paste a message i sent in frustration to a fellow classmate:
i think a lot of us (including you and me), took “write down the first thing you notice” as “write down the first thing that you pick up on when you watch the screen, whether the person has started talking or not, whether it’s a visual detail or a behavioral trait, whether it says anything about the person or not.” at least that’s how i interpreted it. so almost all of my observations had to do with appearance, not behavior. how can you extrapolate connotative data from an observation like, “mouth” (which only means that that particular person’s mouth was prominent in some way) or hair (which i noticed 5 times). everyone’s cheeks are raised when they smile, but some people’s left more of an impression, whether they moved differently or were placed a little lower or higher on their face. how can i use that kind of info to make a personality judgement? HOW?! (jake), i am going to explode right now!!! i talked to professor (steinberg) until 2:30 (god, she wouldn’t let me go; i eventually had to just get up cos my feet went to sleep from sitting uncomfortably on the floor), but she just didn’t get what i meant and i was growing more and more irritated that i had such a hard time controlling the tone of my voice. and (claire) was there too, but she didn’t help my case either. the professor kept trying to convince me to jump to irrational conclusions like long and dark hair means mysterious instead of considering that MAYBE I CAN’T THINK THAT WAY. that maybe i just can’t make judgements based on people’s appearances, especially over things they have no control over. sure, i can say what a particular kind of feature means to other people, but i can’t say what it means to me. GOD. i mean, one of the features i noted was how one guy’s glasses lenses were tinged with grey, which probably means that they were transition lenses. what the hell am i supposed to say about him as a person, using only that piece of data?
Any thoughts? How much of nonverbal communication is intentional, and if it is unintentional, is it still communication?